Um, yeah. I want to get a refund.
Yes, ma'am. Let's see what you... Oh. I'm sorry ma'am, but we can't take returns on panties.
What am I supposed to do with them, then? I sure can't wear them.
No! Just keep them. I don't know--give 'em to some poor homeless person or something, I don't care! I want these out of my life. Do you understand? I've got to get these panties out of my life!
photo, Benjamin Earwicker.