Wednesday, August 5, 2009


Well that's just great.

I guess I lost my favorite pants while on vacation. I've looked everywhere.

I've burrowed headfirst into the laundry hamper--all the way past the sweater I haven't worn since 2002 because it has to be handwashed and the sheets I'm never gonna wash because I don't like them. I tunneled past the red items that are waiting for more of their kind in order to make a full load. Gollum is down there--wearing a sexy appliqued brassiere that never makes it into the washing machine because the underwires make me feel like I'm having a heart attack. It's too pretty to get rid of, but it doesn't seem worth the trouble to launder it if I'm never going to saddle up in it again.

Even though I am absolutely positive that I didn't hang these pants back up when I unpacked, I've looked at every pair on every hanger in the closet. This is no mean feat, since my closet is under-lighted and I am under-sighted. Getting a good look at anything necessitates draging it out of the closet and into the full light of the bedroom: Snag-step-step-check. No, that's not them. Step-step-hang. Repeat.

I've already done my back-to-school shopping, so now I am going to be one pair of pants shy of a complete wardrobe. In fact, many of my fashionable urban teacher ensembles is based around this particular pair of pants, which means more shopping in order to fill the deficiency I didn't know I had. I dislike shopping almost as much as I dislike spending money.

I have returned sans pants from vacation before, but I must say, much more wantonness went into losing them than was the case this year. If I'm gonna be coming home without items of clothing, I need to be seeing more action.

image, Improv Everywhere No Pants 2K9. Guess I'm good for 2K10.


Monda said...

I lost a black slip last February that turned up like magic yesterday. Poof, there it was. I feel confident your pants will turn up when you stop looking for them.

In the meantime, you need a better story. One with action.

Sarah said...

I lost a lime green cardigan a few weeks ago, and it somehow turned up in my husband's closet.

Anonymous said...

Go buy a new pair of pants and the lost ones will magically appear. This piece of advice from someone who has seen it happen more than yours truly.

N + I + K + I said...

your hamper sounds like my hamper, only i have a dryclean only sweater, a cocktail dress i've never worn in public but put on and attempt to walk out the door then lose nerve and a pair of socks i just never wash. :D

hope you find your pants, shopping and spending money suck but having new things is fun. :)

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