Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Making time.

It's the working women's creed. You hear and read it everywhere--the admonition that, no matter how long the list of things you must do for the other people in your life (your boss, your kids, your husband), it's important to remember to take time for yourself.

This must rank as one of the top five things every grown woman has to learn to do. How else to explain the inclusion of this tiny, four-word mandate in every Website, television network, and print publication devoted to women's interests? And Oprah? Girl, you know Oprah is all about finding time for herself.

And I am, too. In fact, making time for myself is one of the ways I ended up with pants I can't fasten.

I've noticed, though, that when the experts are talking, making time for one's self almost always translates into, "do something about the size of that gigantic ass," or "enrich your mushy mind." Read a book, take a class, join the gym or take up Yoga. They never say anything about piling up on the couch with a huge bowl of Orville Redenbacher Buttered Popcorn in front of a Tori and Dean marathon. I've never seen, "sleep all day Saturday," or "drink lunch Mojitos until you're too stupid to go back to work" as any of the suggested ways to carve a little time for yourself out of your busy day.

Why is that, do you suppose?

Do we imagine that we'll be able to lay around in our pajamas all day after the kids are grown and out of the house? Are we waiting for retirement to take up drinking in the afternoon? I've given this a lot of thought, and I've determined that if I'm ever going to give myself over to sloth and overindulgence, I'd best do it before someone else has power of attorney.

And you should too. Go ahead. Have yourself a little 508 calorie mocha latte. Eat a whole pie for lunch. Sleep all weekend in the clothes you wore to work on Friday.

You deserve it. And in a few more years, nobody's going to let you. They're going to want you to go to water aerobics class.

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