Zzzzzzz.

An acquaintance of mine brags about going to bed each evening at around 8:30. Alone.

Most of the time, my feelings about this vacillate between envy and condemnation. Sometimes--on Mondays--I look at him through bleary eyes and want to bash him in the head. Mostly, though, I just want to know how he manages. Doesn't he have chores? Does he watch TV? Who writes his blog?

I would love to be asleep by 9pm. But I have to do all these things, first. And while I'm no social butterfly, you can be sure that the few friends I have left who will still have anything to do with me would drop me like a hot spoon if they couldn't get me on the phone at night.

As it turns out, my affection for sleeping is one of the few things I have going in my favor. Despite my wanton disregard for almost every other form of healthy living, I do know how to appreciate a good snooze. Recent studies in the news last week all point to the lack of sleep as being a contributor to obesity, as well as possibly increasing the risk of cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. People who sleep more have fewer emotional and mental problems, as well. When the rest of you are falling over dead because you were too busy to nap, those of us who just woke up are going to have the run of the joint.

I haven't been this happy since they told me that I don't have to worry about all that water I haven't been drinking.