Thursday, July 26, 2007

It's my own fault--I'm the one who felt compelled to discuss the hairs on my legs in front of people I don't even know.

My friend Carol made a special delivery to my house Tuesday evening. She and Tawana are either so very taken with the Gillette Fusion razor that they can't wait to convert the world, or they have had a special palaver in which they came up with a solution to the the sorry state of my stubbly knees.

Carol presented me with a razor that filled me with equal parts awe and fear. I was astounded that refill blades for this razor will cost a whopping $23.00 for a package of 8.

And I was terrified because it has 5 blades.

I have always been a samurai shaver--8 quick swipes and a tourniquet and I'm out the door. So I was quite sure that my very first attempt at shaving with a 5-bladed razor wouldn't leave enough meat on me to make a decent sandwich.

And while Carol and Tawana may have plenty of time for a trip to the emergency room for sutures and a booster tetanus shot, I am an important, busy, publishing professional. I have copy to mark all over and instructions to mangle; I don't have time to get my shins sewn back on. There and then, I decided I would continue to shave with my $1.95 razor while telling my friends that yes, I really enjoyed the expensive, potentially lethal razor very much. It's not like either one of them is in a position to know the difference.

But Wednesday morning, my blind groping in the closet yielded a pair of those knee-length shorts that masquerade as slacks. A shave would be required. I reached for my usual razor.

And then I had a thought. What if I tried the fancy new razor and what if it really was wonderful?

So I did. And it was.

My calf was so pleased that I shaved the knee. And then I shaved the other one. Then I shaved behind my knees. And what do you know? It turns out that even the cagiest of hairs can't hide from 5 separate blades.

I was so thrilled. I kept shaving until I had shaved as far as possible. I don't believe possible has been shaved since 1987. To paraphrase the poem, my legs are as smooth and hairless as an egg. I can't wait to shave again.

As a matter of fact, I think I will go and find the cat.
photo, Jyn Meyer

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I loved the zinger but I dare you to try it on my cat.

Lisa said...

Glad you like the 5 blade. I've wondered if it would be worth the $23 replacements. So far I haven't cut off too much of my legs with the 3 blade, so I'll stick to it until you convince me otherwise.

Jane who? said...

Lisa, there's a significant difference in the amount it would cost to keep me in Raptor Razor Refills, and what it would cost you.

Don't you know how long your legs are?

Jane who? said...

Well. That MAY have been premature.

I just realized how many people I know named "Lisa."

MJ