Thursday, May 31, 2007

If you are my mom, please don't read this.

My friend Tawana, not realizing that I was taking the next two days off, called early this morning from the far right-hand side of the map.

"I've been reading your blog, and it gave me a great idea. I'm telling you--it's the best idea, ever. It's a...well, it's a gift to the world."

Now this is one of the things I love about her--comments like, "It's a gift to the world." All she has to do sometimes, is open her mouth to make me happy.

"We need to get our moms set up with a blog! It'll be fun for them; it'll give them something to do with their spare time."

Ummmm...no.

Look. I'm not suggesting to my mother that she start a blog. First, she'll set up the blog and post two, maybe three times. Then, she'll call during my nap window to tell me that her damn computer is messed up again--that she can't get the damn carriage return to show on the posting. Oh, it's there in the editing window all right, but when she hits the damn PUBLISH POST button, it disappears.

So she'll call the computer store where she purchased her computer and complain. They'll suggest she bring in her CPU. This will require a lot of trouble, a car trip all the way across town, and three days without her computer.

Oh, yeah--and a call during my nap window to complain.

The service department will run a scan and remove some innocuous spyware. They'll charge her $125.00. She'll drive across town again, pick up the CPU, take it back home, and try to enter another post. The damn paragraph return still won't show correctly on the post.

So she'll call the computer store and give them what-for.

Then, she'll call the Geek Squad. My mother loves-loves-loves the Geek Squad. They'll send a kid younger than most of the shoes in her closet. He'll sit down at the computer, type a couple keystrokes and say, "Dr. Vaughan" (Don't even try to tell me you couldn't tell before now that she was a card-carrying Ph.d.), "you just need to go to this screen and hit this button, and you'll be fine."

And my mom will call during my nap window to tell me that the Geek Squad finally fixed her computer. And am I reading her posts?

So, no. I'm not suggesting to my mother that she start a blog.

Thanks to Garrison Photo.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

After reading your latest Blog, "If you are my mom, please don't read this."
I am deeply concerned my cell phone bill and voice mailbox will increase expediously because I know I will shortly begin receiving many calls from "MOM" in a huff saying things like, When is the last time you spoke to your sister? "Do you believe what your sister published on the web about me?" "Do you know what your sister is up to?", "What are we going to do with your sister?". And as always after about 24 seconds of this I will raise my voice, begin to use explicitives and she will change the subject to the weather in Michigan or New Mexico. As you know we both love her deeply but the true facts are, as I have explained to you for many years now,is that you are your mothers daughter and you will be exactly like her in the not to distant future and if you don't believe me just ask your daughter, who incidently thinks your "as nutty as a pecan pie."
Love,
Your brother

Jane who? said...

Dear Sir:

I don't know who you are or why you are trying to get me into trouble.

However, best of luck with that sister thing.

John G. said...

Every time I read your writing it reminds me again of how good you are. I never really forget that you are a good witer. I just forget to remember. Thanks, for doing your stuff and sharing it with all of us.